is the best

Title: is the best
Author:

synecdoche
Pairing: House/Cameron, Cameron/dead!husband
Rating: R
Warnings: Miscarriage.
Summary: He never really says, 'I want to have children, Allison,' but a month after their wedding, she can't find any condoms in the apartment. If first is the worst, what about second.
Disclaimer: I am in no way responsible for the writing of House. Please don't sue. Not only am I not rich, but my parents are both lawyers. It would be silly.
Notes: This is for both

boinkbot and

kara_albutus, who requested fics that somehow tied themselves together. I hope everyone enjoys. :)

And if you don't know where you're going,
Any road will take you there.
--George Harrison

Cameron knows they're both drunk when House kisses her for the first time. She likes the feel of his lips on hers. The scotch blending with the wine.
Her belly feels like it's glowing, the bottle of wine downed for no particular reason except that it would make House stay longer if she kept drinking.
(She must be glowing.) He's whispering her name against her lips, his hands tracing lacy patters under her shirt. She shrugs off her coat. He unbuttons her shirt, unclasps her bra.

.

When he dies, Brian has one hand in hers, and one hand rests gently on her stomach.
She can't bring herself to tell him that there's nothing there.
He's too drugged up to ask why there isn't a bump after four months. And if he doesn't ask, she doesn't see a reason to tell him. It would only hurt him.
There is too much death in the room, anyway.

.

When House eases his fingers into her panties, she's too muddled to think of the implications. The connotations.
When she's drunk, she's stuck at denotations.
So she focuses on his cock inside her and on the fact that he drank too much scotch to say anything but "Allison" while he fucks her.
She calls him "Greg" when she comes. (She'll deny it later.)

.

Brian asks about the baby and for once she's glad he's gone blind in his right eye. He can't see her start to cry.
She tells him she's laughing, when he asks.
Then she tells him that the doctor said the baby was fine.
Joe hugs her after she leaves the room, and she almost lets him kiss her. But she's a better person than that. She tells Brian enough lies.

.

Cameron's almost surprised that House falls asleep before she does. She ruffles his hair with cautious fingers.
If he wakes up, he'll leave her. She knows it. (It was the scotch.)
She smiles when she thinks of the sex.
The last thing between her legs, she thinks, was blood.
Then she stops thinking about it and wills herself to fall asleep. She wonders why it's always so easy for her, to be a martyr.

.

It's two days after Brian starts crashing and they have to take him to the hospital.
She's dozing in the chair next to his bed and suddenly she wakes up to a cramp in her back.
She's bled through her pants.
The nurses find her ten minutes later, passed out, the blood pooling between her thighs.

.

House is gone when she wakes up. (Expected.)
She's back at work the next day, a turtleneck sweater hiding the bruise on her neck. This time, she makes sure to brush her hair and dabs on a little makeup.
In the hospital light, her lipstick looks redder than she remembers. It reminds her of blood, but she doesn't wipe it off.
It makes her feel stronger than she thinks she is.

.

The first month after she finally takes the test, she wonders if Brian's more excited than she is.

.

Cameron knows he's hiding in an exam room, in lieu of clinic duty. Three weeks later. They're good at ignoring any anomalies in their own lives.
But he doesn't protest when she kisses him. (Sometimes it's far too easy to be selfish. Her head hurts.) At first she wonders why, but then his hand sneaks into her shirt and she stops thinking about it.
That night, just before she steps into the shower, she wonders if her breasts are bigger.
She's forgotten about it by the next morning, when she's throwing up in the sink.

.

When the test comes out positive, Brian takes her completely by surprise and fucks her. Right in the bathroom.
He's on the phone calling his parents and she can still feel the coolness of the tiles against her ass and her neck. She wonders idly why that's the first thing she thinks of.

.

Cameron shows up late to work for a week. When House asks why, she tells him it's the stomach flu.
She was always so good at fooling herself.

.

The first time she wakes up with (possible) morning sickness, she wonders if she should start sleeping on the floor. Brian wouldn't be able to handle the stomach flu.
When she mentions it, he laughs and places a hand on her stomach. Her stomach tightens and she wonders if he gave it to her in the first place.

.

When she misses her period, she's sure. (She's always been regular. With that and everything else.)
But she diddles on getting a test because then she would have to face maternity clothes and spinach and finding a bassinet.
She might have to tell House.
And she likes the way he kisses her, when he's supposed to be doing his clinic hours. They've never gotten past a continual stream of one night stands and stolen kisses in the clinic. But she'd never call herself any kind of romantic heroine. The words are enough to send her to the nearest sink.
No, it's just that she keeps thinking of the way her lips feel against hers. The way he says her name when he comes.

.

He never really says, 'I want to have children, Allison,' but a month after their wedding, she can't find any condoms in the apartment.
She doesn't say anything, because she'd rather tell him she loves him. She likes the way his dimples look. (His face is so pale these days.)

.

Cameron knows that House knows when there's a pregnancy test on the laptop.
She knows it'll be positive before she opens the package.
She leaves the stick on his desk because he's the one thing she can't always forsee. (She's the same for him. Sometimes she forgets she knows that.)
When she gets back to her apartment, there's a key taped to the door. The tears, she decides, must be from the hormones.

.

When Brian proposes to her, it's the earnest expression in the too-pale face that wins her over more than the words or the sliver of a ring.
Of course she says yes. Of course.

.

The door to House's apartment slides open silently. He's watching the O.C., legs propped up on the coffee table, barely acknowledging her entrance.
Cameron wonders why she's never felt so at home before.
She sits down next to him, remembering the rhyme about what comes second.

Tags: house/cameron, requests

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49 comments

chasing_house

August 13 2006, 22:00:36 UTC 5 years ago

wow i have never been first before woohoo. And I'm actually speechless because this was such a brilliant story and left me feeling very emotional :) ...I'll be back to give a proper review later! But for now i shall just babble- Loved it Loved it Loved it!

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